Sunday, March 8, 2009
it is often that we take for granted all that we have. complain about the little things in life and always want the next best thing. as we live for the future, we often let the precious moments of today pass us by.
today marks our sixth wedding anniversary. while trying to wrap my mind around the fact that we have been married for six years, i started to think of all that steve is and all that he challenges me to become. and i thought of listing all of the things that i love about him, but would that truly explain our marriage as an entire picture? would it do justice to all that he does to encourage me to grow? and then i thought of the movie, it's a wonderful life. i thought of this classic movie where george bailey stumbles around bedford falls and gets a birds eye view of what mary's life would be like if he never existed. i thought of what my life would be like if i had never met steve. where would i be? who would i be? it's a scary thought and a scary road to travel down, but a journey worth taking. so here it goes.
if i had never met steve, i would not be teaching in a multi-age classroom right now because i would never have had the courage to take a risk. go against the grain. do something that goes against the consensus even if it is what's best for me. i would be playing it safe and doing only the things that make other people happy. i would still be teaching fourth grade because it became easy. but then again, if i had never met steve, i would have never even gotten my job. steve was and is the one who makes me feel like i have something to offer and that when all else fails to be myself. and he was the one who spent the entire night before my interview at kinkos making my killer mini portfolios.
if i had never met steve, i would be a bitter, bitter woman. before steve i believed that i held the key to my heart, and if anyone betrayed me i would lock it up and shut them out forever. before steve i never forgave, and i never forgot. steve's unconditional love for everyone blows me away and has gradually taught me the amazing power of God's grace. his graciousness baffles me, challenges me and forces me to grow.
if i had never met steve, i would still be stuck inside of my box. i would be holding on tight to my conservative views and using those views to judge others. i wouldn't be living in the big city, considering a tatoo and wanting a diverse world for my boys to grow up it. i would be living a life scared of how differences can hurt me instead of embracing them.
if i had never met steve, i would still be the insecure college girl i was before i met him. i would be worrying constantly about what others thought of me and making choices dependent on those thoughts. steve has taught me that i am only as confident as i allow myself to be. he has shown me that i am my own worst critic and that it is not until i am comfortable in my own skin that i will truly shine.
if i had never met steve, i would not be listening to a wonderful man read bedtime stories to my two precious sons. i would not have had the pleasure of raising two strong willed boys who are full of life. i would not be learning more and more about myself as i trudge through the depths of parenthood with my best friend.
as i reflect upon these past six years i realize that i have been given the greatest gift. a gift that is right in my own home. i have been given the opportunity to live my live with my soul mate. a man who would throw a lasso around the moon, if i just said the word. it's a wonderful life.