Showing posts with label perspective. Show all posts
Showing posts with label perspective. Show all posts

Friday, July 1, 2011

Thoughts of a Recovering Perfectionist


I used to have it all together, or at least I pretended to have it all together.  I was a perfectionist who agonized over every little detail.  I would spend hours upon hours in my classroom. If we had guest coming to our house, I would clean every nook and cranny until it was spotless.  When people asked me how I was doing, Great, how are you, would be my go to response. 


In all reality, however, I was light years away from having it all together.  I would beat myself up because in my skewed perception, I thought  everyone  else  did  have it all together.  Other's classrooms were perfect, their homes were always immaculate, and they were always great.

How did they do it?  How were they so perfect?

Fast forward six years.  Now in my thirties, having two spirited boys, and being much more wise than that naive young woman I once was, I realize that nobody has it all together. 

Who was I kidding?

On most days I am lucky if  I can keep the kitchen clean for a straight 4 hours, put mascara on, and actually shower in the morning.

As a matter of fact, just yesterday I showed up at a park play date with two different shoes on.  Yes, that is correct.  The mom with a 6 and a 4 year old, who dress, buckle,  and pretty much take care of themselves, walked out the door, drove all the way to the park and realized several minutes after arriving that she had two different shoes on.  Seriously?

All this to say, I wish I would have known then what I know now.

Lessons learned on my journey?  Nobody is perfect. There is not one person who has it all together.  People find comfort in your transpareny, and when you show up at a park with two different shoes on, laugh at yourself and own it.  You've earned it.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

bad news...good news





in the wee hours of the morning last august, gibson decided to fall out of bed and break his clavicle. feeling horrible that our son had broken a bone, steve and i kicked ourselves for taking off his bed rail. he had fallen out of bed so many times before and a hug and a kiss usually made everything better...but not this time. we found ourselves dwelling on how we messed up. feeling sorry for him and looking for parenting 101 classes on online.

with his arm tucked tightly into his shirt and guilt still weighing us down, we sent gibson off to his first day of school. what a blessing it turned out to be. on my next day to work i was approached by the mom of one of gibson's friends. she asked me what happened to gibson and told me that her daughter came home and told her, "mom, the bad news is that gibson broke his arm. the good news is that i have two so i can help him!"

i have come to learn through the stories gibson tells me about school that his teachers often will say the bad news is...but the good news is... . what a wonderful way to acknowledge that something stinks but there is always a positive to come out of it. so after being up with a sick boy last night, i thought i would give it a try. focus on the positive. focus on the positive. focus on the positive. right?

the bad news is that elliott was up all night puking up everything he had eaten the day before. and yes the day before was fat tuesday. and yes elliott loves to eat. and after he had gotten rid of everything he continued to dry heave for the rest of the night.

the good news is he was such a trooper! he would seldom cry and simply want me to rub his back and cuddle with a fresh new blanket.

the bad news is i had to go in early to make sub plans and try to occupy gibson while i did this.

the good news is that after i got everything together in my room, gibson took me on a date to mcdonalds. daddy had given him his wallet, which he stored in his cargo pants, twenty dollars and told him the rules for being a gentleman. he ordered for us and proudly paid. what a precious impromptu date.

the bad news is that elliott is home sick and couldn't go to school today.

the good news is that i get him all to myself to cuddle with all day long.

as a recovering pessimist, i think i like this bad news...good news business.
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