Tuesday, January 13, 2009
do not be anxious in anything
anxiety is something that i have battled my entire life. i remember waiting by the window as a child, watching each car go by, hoping that the next one would be my dad pulling into the driveway safe and sound. worry, at a very young age, became my love language. i was born worrying about how everybody else was feeling and even more destructive, how they were feeling about me...and what a roller coaster it has been!
this past sunday, i listened to a pod cast from our church titled, and i will say it again. as i listened to the message, with tears streaming down my face, something finally resonated with me. rob bell spoke of rejoicing, gentleness and learning to discern that God is up to something even in this. he spoke of freedom from anxiety as a posture and a way of life, not just a prayer lifted up in anxious times.
for the entirety of gibson's life, he has been a small little guy. so small that he has had blood work done and goals set for yearly growth. naturally, as his mother, and as the worrier that i am, it has been something that i have carried with me constantly. i carried it with me until the moment i heard that i need to discern that God is up to something even in this. as i heard that i immediately replayed our recent trip to the gym. on this recent trip gibson was drawn to an inflatable soccer field. inside the field they rotated soccer games. the first game was for kids seven and older, the second for kids seven and younger. as soon as gib's age category was called he was instantly inside the enclosed soccer field. not only was he inside, he was where the action was at all times, not afraid of anyone. as i stood there and watched this amazing little kid, the smallest guy in there, i realized that what he is lacking in height, he makes up for in determination. he has spunk, passion and a fire within. he is fearfully and wonderfully made. God is up to something in my little guy.