I am exhausted.
And, can't find the pocket where I stored the good of summer for when this day struck.
I was supposed to work today. The office day was canceled.
My kids and my sitter all think that I am at work. I didn't have the energy to tell them otherwise.
Since 8:30am, I have been wandering, and I am not a wanderer. I often feel guilt with wandering, wondering if I am spending these few sacred hours away from my children wisely.
The pressure of what to do with the first 5 free hours I have had in the last two months nearly kills me each time.
Today, I feel empty.
And, I am just going with it and giving myself grace.
My initial morning wandering lead me on the hunt for a cardigan to wear to an unseasonably cold summer wedding this weekend.
I never did find a cardigan, I can't say that I looked that hard.
I did, however, drink Rwandan coffee loaded with half-n-half - while it was still warm, stop at a garage sale, drove with my windows down, and picked myself fresh flowers.
It's okay to wander, to buy polka dot measuring cups that you don't really need at a clothing boutique, to peruse books at a local bookstore and walk away with two you may never read. It's okay to purchase a charming gray and white striped rug just because you like it but don't necessarily love it.
And, it's okay not to want to go home to your kids yet.