feet first

we are now closing the blinds on day 9 of steve's 19 day business trip to chicago. when he departed almost ten days ago, he left us with a chain. a chain that the boys had to remove one link a day and with each link that was removed they were instructed to give me a hug from daddy. a chain that seems to still be never ending. secretly, i skip days on this chain so that on the next day it seems as if we have made more progress in daddy's return home.

there have definitely been ups and downs while we have been a party of three. at times i feel like superwoman, envisioning myself with a killer body proudly wearing blue and red, racing the clock while the theme sound of mission impossible plays as background music in my thoughts. i feel like i can do it all. and then there are the other, more often, times when i can hear the whistles of the freight train as it barrels into me, leaving me motionless on top of my bed covers, waiting for my alarm clock to go off signaling the need to switch the laundry. times when i am drained and on the verge of tears.

although this trip has left us all a bit emotional and missing daddy, it has reminded me that God is good. i have been amazed at how our family and friends have blessed us through this journey that will one day be only a blip on the radar. from notes in the mail, home cooked dinners, phone calls, wrestling with my boys, friends baring coffee, to pouring a glass of wine, we have been blessed. at times it has been hard to receive, but we are eternally grateful. so from here on out we are taking it one day at a time and jumping in feet first.