Retelling

Three years ago I embarked on a journey into my story.

For so many years, I had lived the safe life.  The life where all the right choices were made, all of the correct steps were taken, and I had set myself up to be comfortable, safe.

Although, I had made all of the correct choices by the measure of the world, I had lost sight of where I ever intended my path to go.

I was lost, in my own story.

I didn't recognize the main character.

I had no idea where she was supposed to go, how she was supposed to feel, or why she was ever lost.

I only knew I needed to find her, and I needed to reclaim what was truly hers. I knew she needed to stop living a life of fear and move to a life of great freedom and redemption.

I knew it was time for me to take a deeper look into my story, to allow God....

Through Retelling, I was given the chance to tell the story of my past through the lens of grace. I was able to take a deeper look in a safe, authentic community, to sort through the broken and allow God to make it new again.

I was able to separate the lies from the truth, and change the direction I was going, from my path to the glory of His.

By looking at the past, I discovered the future.  In my brokenness, I discovered great beauty.

I realized how the need to control my life in order to avoid pain and sorrow, was moving away from God, instead of running toward Him. I no longer rely on my own understanding to protect my heart, but trust God with it.

In this I have found great freedom.  I am now awake to my heart's deepest longings, and know I am worthy of God's abundant love and grace.

I now crave authenticity, truth, and the community each of these draw near. For when I live with my heart ready to give and receive love the door to deep, authentic relationships swings wide open, inviting me in.

For the first time, I am living with a heart fully alive, free from fear and embracing the journey ahead.