happy.

The boys have been spending lots of time in their fort lately. 

 

They say it is to trade cards, watch a movie, or read books; but if I were to guess their secret, I think they are spending so much time in there to get away from the new two year old in their lives.

 

The last three weeks have been filled to the brim with change, both welcomed and unwelcomed.

 

We have all been wading through the brutiful journey of bringing Finley home, and it has all of us sorting through our new normal... one secret{a new tradition of telling what is truly on our hearts} at a time.

 

This morning, I found this......

 

Gibson, Elliott and Finley all playing together in the fort.

 



They were enjoying each other,

and acting all shades of goofy.

 

Each one of my kids was happy.



and, so was I.

Project52: Frame It.

"For many, the beginning of the New Year signals a sense of transformation – a time to evaluate life in its current state and set goals for manifesting change. The butterfly symbolizes transformation and joy. Its dance reflects the need for movement from where we are to our next phase of being." ~Trish Phillips

Almost two years ago,  I walked away from the life I had always known.  

I shed my label, relinquished my roles and was left with Theresa in the raw.  There was nothing to hide behind, no work to bury myself in, and nowhere to run.

It was just me.

A me I did not recognize.

A me I did not know.

A me that was in desperate need for movement from where I was to my next phase of being.

Although God is still transforming me, asking me to be still and wait, I have seen glimpses of the great joy that comes from allowing yourself to be transformed.  

I have learned that transformation cannot be placed into a nice neat box.  

There are no rules, no ten step program.

You cannot place it in a perfect frame, but you can view it through the lens of grace, inviting further transformation and even greater joy. 

  

Looking for more?  Please head over to Katie's blog for a glimpse of  why a picture worth framing is always more than a picture.

Insta.Life

As of late, I have found myself keenly aware of the time that is passing by.

The boys seem to be growing up at a rapid pace, leaving me grasping for moments to stash away in my pocket, for when they are no longer my little boys.

Last night, Gibson and I slow danced to Lead Me.  As we danced, I would catch glimpses of him in my arms in the reflections that surrounded us, and I just held him tighter, not knowing when the last time he would jump into my arms to dance would be.

Today, as we walked to the bus after his field trip to the zoo, he grabbed my hand, and I cherished that long walk to the bus, no longer taking his hand in mine for granted.

Each and every morning as Gibson leaves for school, Elliott questions how long before kindergarten starts, over the moon excited for his chance to go to school all day, everyday.

And our Finley girl, can I even describe how this little girl, that has an enormous piece of my heart in Korea, is an everyday reminder of how precious each passing day is?

No, I can't because there is nothing quite like knowing that time is marching on with or without you.

So, I sit, trying to take it all in.

With each snapshot I store away, I look around and see my wonderful life.

A freak accident with a stick left Elliott under strict orders to keep both eyes closed for 24 hours.

And for the medical drama this week, Gibson will fall on the playground cutting his

head and win best in show for a bloody covered outfit.

As the parapro told me as I picked him up.

He has the whole lunch room worried.

The all of the boys are praying and all of the girls are crying.

Walking for water is one of our favorite ways to connect with community and

raise money and awareness for those who do not have clean water.

Elliott and I ventured to the "good" Meijer to find this lovely little

fruit stand for kids.  

Our very own Needtobreathe concert .... track #5, of course.

News of an even longer wait to meet our Finley girl got the best of me,

and I may have eaten a LOT of pistachios to relieve some stress.

Knowing we could no longer avoid the reality that Finley would celebrate her

first birthday without us, we had no other choice to find her a 

pretty party dress to send her way.

After a couple weeks in my swimming bag, I dug out this thoughtful

gift from Mrs. Jen and decided it was time to choose hope again.

Just when we thought we had reached our quota of medical traumas,

Gibson stepped on a nail while running through the woods.

Enjoying a beautiful afternoon with friends that will soon be moving away.

Blessed to have a seat at this dinner table.

We had one proud big brother as he read two pages of Finley's

birthday book to her.

My catcher man. 

SF, GF, DF and delicious!

Life Lesson #674.... Never leave your favorite book in the fort overnight.

I have always been able to find Jesus at the Start line.... even if I'm not racing.

Celebrating Kt's amazing 25k performance.

Last night we had two frogs ... this morning we found Getaway in the hallway

and Jumpy is still MIA.

Who knew that I would ever consider unsweetened almond milk with

decaf coffee ice cubes to be a treat?

Sadly, we found Jumpy, dried to a crisp on the basement floor.

Elliott sobbed over the loss of his pet {of 12 hours} for quite some time.

As the pond drains behind us, the boys are on a mission to save

every last tadpole.

Just because Finley is celebrating her first birthday in Seoul, doesn't

mean we can't have some cake and celebrate her big day here.

Sometimes, you just have to drive thru and treat yourself to a whopper jr.

All ready for his bone scan.

To the zoo we go.

Just when you think it's an ordinary day at the zoo,
 a goat tries to eat your purse.

They say that every great story has conflict and great characters.  I'd say we are on our way to a great story.

One Word: True

                                                                                                                        *photo credit

One little word.

One big impact?

The challenge? To pick one word and focus on that one word for the next year.

Now, I am a wordy girl.  I like to be able to explain myself and keep my options open.  So, to pick one word was tough for me.  It didn't just come to me and I didn't have one in the back of my mind, so I waited.

And, finally, as I was loading the dishwasher God gave me the word he wanted me to focus on this year.

True.

I know, I thought the same thing.  Is true a word that is even eligible for the one word challenge?

Does it even apply?

Is it a adjective? a verb?

The longer I let the word true twirl around in my head, the more it made sense to me.

True. 

This is my word. How do I let this one word lead me in this new year?

I am now more than ever being called to find my true self.  How did God create me? What are my genuine and one of a kind gifts? How can I realize and bring honor to the masterpiece I was knitted to be? God shaped me and formed me and placed me right here for right now.  How can I be true to his plan?

As I seek my true self, I also want to be true to myself.  I long to be real and authentic, and I long to be true in sharing my story as a part of a bigger picture. 

I also long be true in my relationships.  To be steadfast, loyal and faithful to my family and to those I am in community with.

I want to live in all of the ways that are truely important.  This year I want to focus on what really matters.  I want to simplify, love well and devote my energy to all that is true.

And, finally I am being called to identify what is pure and true and what is not.  For so long, I have believed so many lies.  I believed {and still do in most cases...especially on a bad day} that I wasn't good enough, that I wasn't worthy, that I was not beautiful.  And, this year is the year to call out what is pure and true, identify all that is not and call it by name.

As I sent my word to Katie she immediately responded with, Philippians 4:8

                                       *verse credit

It was affirmation that this is my one word that can make a big difference in my life.

If you had to pick one word, what would it be?

I encourage you to give it some thought and possibly link up here:

{I would also love it if you left your word in my comments!}

The Lettered Cottage

One Word 365

Care Package #1

It is safe to say that this little adventure called adoption has been an emotional roller coaster.  There are highs and there are extreme lows. 

We survived the home study process, barely escaped the waiting for referral go-around, and now we are in strapped in tightly as we wait to become a forever family.

The conclusion we have come to is that the roller coaster is ultimately broken and that no matter how frustrated we get with the broken roller coaster nothing will fix it.  So, we are just fastening our seat belts one more time for another bumpy ride.

One highlight of this stretch of the ride is that we get to send Finley care packages which has been the first "fun" part about this adventure.

From the day that we saw her precious face we started collecting goodies for our Finley.

The goodies we sent...

A letter. written to Finley and a letter of thanks to her foster mother.

I used google translate to craft the letter and I am praying that it is accurate.

Disposable camera. with the hopes that her foster mother will snap some priceless pictures of this time in Finley's life.  Fingers really crossed here.

Photo book. {as the boys call it, a "chewable" photo book} filled with our pictures and our names.  Again, I am crossing my fingers and praying that Finley's foster mother with look through this every day with her. *I used picnik to add our names

Cuddly bear. {complete with hoodie} given to us from the thoughtful Ms. Katie.

Taggie blanket.  because the teacher in me is trying to work in some fine motor... kind of kidding...but not really.

With four minutes to spare on a Saturday morning our package was signed, sealed,

and ready to be delivered.

 And, in 10-14 days from now, Finley Grace will see her forever family for the first time.

Ultimately, I am not a fan of roller coasters {they're dangerous, unpredictable, and make me nauseous} but in the end I am always glad I took the risk and got on the ride.

I cannot imagine the feeling when this roller coaster finally stops for the last time. 

Introducing...

*be sure to mute music below before playing video

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

For this Child I have Prayed

It was 1,343 days ago that God placed adoption on our hearts.  Elliott was 1, Gibson was 3.  Steve and I had been married for 5 years. We were nervous yet filled with passion about the possibility of bringing an orphan into our home.  I cried tears of compassion on most days during this time.  Daily, I would read blogs telling of adoption stories, and daily my heart would just ache for the 135 million orphans in the world. 

For the 480 days that followed, we prayed.  We prayed for clarity, to sift through the feelings of passion we were experiencing and to discern if they were pure and from God.  And, we prayed for direction, that we would know, through faith, the way in which we were being called. 

It was 863 days ago that we knew, without a doubt, that God was calling us to a baby in South Korea. 

For the 90 days that followed, we officially began the adoption process and journeyed in depth into our home, our family and our relationships.   With our hearts filled with joy and anticipation, we wrote essays, answered questions, and revealed all of our secrets to Homeland Security. 


773 days ago, the day we had worked for had arrived. Our Home Study was officially sent to South Korea, marking the monumental day in which the wait for our child began.

Our wait that was predicted to take anywhere from  480-540 days has far been exceeded, and is not yet close to being over.  

1 day ago, I found out via an impersonal e-mail blast that 3 referrals were made through our agency in the month of September, 3 referrals that went to families other than ours.   

With this news, I felt as if I had the wind knocked out of me as I stood frozen in the streets of Grand Rapids, wondering why we weren't one of the 3 families.

Reality sank in, as I now knew that the next possible time for a referral would be in January. 

Yet through all of these feelings I was able hold onto what is true.


God has ordained this adoption.

He is in control. 

He is holding our child in the palm of His hands.

It is God who will orchestrate our meeting, in His perfect timing. 

It is purely by God's grace that we were called to adopt and purely by His grace that we can continue to wait.

Steve and I have often asked each other at different times, If you had to do it over again, would you still choose this?

And each time our responses are the same, Without a doubt!

This is our resounding answer because in all reality, we didn't choose this, God did, He called us to this journey .


Those who have been called to something can understand. There are not words to describe it. It is just what you were called to do. 

Is it difficult? Yes.  

Does it make sense? No.  

Is it logical? Not even close.

So, here on this 1,344th day of our adoption journey, we continue to wait with trusting and faithful hearts.

There are many tears and indescribable feelings of longing that will remain until we hold our baby, but we rest today and in the days to come in God's timing and His grace.

Year 32: {32 things in year 32}

Today marks the very first day of Year 32, the year of discovering my true self.

Thirty-two things to accomplish in Year 32

1. Complete a successful flip-turn

2. Be a Dangerous woman

3. Compete in a Sprint Tri-athalon

4. Learn to do a front-flip

5. Submit an essay or article in a contest

6. Meet our baby's foster mother and say thank you in Korean

7. Go for a midnight swim

8. Inspire one person to live their life on purpose  My Aunt Carol has an amazing list.

9. Get Christmas shopping done and wrapped by December 1

10. Read entire Magic Tree House Series with my boys, Currently on #34

11. Sew something. Maybe Curtains? Necktie Necklace

12. Make sushi

13. Read through the Bible, cover to cover

14. Complete a closet overhaul

15. Attend a retreat, September 23-25

16. Pay it forward at a drive through

17. Be intentional about loving my husband

18. Make one Clean meal a month, #1, #2, #3

19. Host a Bunko night

20. Take a nap in a hammock

21. Attend Mars Hill Running Group, January 25

22. Go on a salmon run, kayaked among the running salmon

23. Take a spinning, suspension and zumba class

24. Make a Korean dish

25. Buy brown boots, fall 2011

26. Eat Moomers ice cream, October 1

27. Read one book a month

28. Improve my 5k and 10k times

29. Run a race in a different city, Hot Chocolate Run

30. Join an adoption group

31. Buy a bike

32. Meet our baby

Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all.

                                               Helen Keller

Mud, Mud & More Mud

Just one day before the Mud Run, I met a man at Panera.

I was having internet trouble.

He seemed to be working on an intense research project, including lots of documents spread across the table.

As I was troubleshooting my internet issues, he offered to help and go ask an employee.

He kindly, left his work behind and wheeled up in his wheelchair.

He was paralyzed from the waist down.

I don't know his story, or even his name. 

I just know that I thought of him often, the very next day, as I struggled with our 5k mud run.

The start of any race is always emotional for me.  The starting line is where I feel most alive.  The music is pumping, my adrenailine is rushing, and I am surrounded by my dearest friends on an adventure we never predicted.

Today, the start was different.  Today, I realized what a gift it was that I was able to run this race, that the pain I would feel throughout the muddy obstacle course was a gift.  And, I was humbled and thankful for the journey ahead of us.

And a journey it would be! {the most painful race to date}

It started with mud,

continued with mud,

mud,

and more mud.

And, in the end, as we neared the finish line,

I saw my boys,

and realized, even more, what a gift this race actually was.

I was able to run {with healthy legs}, with three friends and finish with my family watching.

It's amazing how a kind stranger in a wheelchair can make you even

more thankful for the journey we are on,

and the boys that I ultimately run for.